Holy Moments

Holy Moments

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!  I John 3:1

I have a friend whose name is Kathleen.  We actually call each other Gazelda, but that is a story for another day.  Kathleen and I shared several seminary classes together.  We later enjoyed attending conferences together.  We had this “thing” we did.  We lived in different states and had very different lives but this one thing we shared seemed to seal our friendship.  We named Holy Moments.  Sacramental Moments.  There were many and we never knew when we would share one.  A sacrament is when you experience the holy with your senses. 

Some sacramental moments we shared would include a magnificent western sunset, the soft colors of the eastern sunrise, making snow angels (never mind that we were grown women with children and jobs!), walking in Evanston in the dark while it was snowing, sitting on the rocks on the edge of Lake Michigan, seeing snow in the late spring in North Carolina, moving worship or special music were certainly holy moments…You get the drift.

Barbara Brown Taylor, from The Preaching Life writes, "The search for sacraments becomes a search for our connections to God and to one another, and there is no end to them. They may sometimes be difficult to recognize in all the cares and occupations of our lives, and they may sometimes reveal truths we would rather not see, but to deny their existence--to declare any part of our lives devoid of sacraments--is to deny the sovereignty of God."

You see, when God encounters us in our ordinary lives - right in the middle of a place we had never thought of as particularly ‘godly,’ then we have a choice: we can keep on going and ignore what has happened, or we can mark – even just within ourselves – that moment, that spot, as holy.

I recently discovered a sacramental moment that was made between our three year old grandson, Shep and his Granddaddy.  It was just an ordinary night of washing hands before dinner in the little powder room.  Shep was standing on his stool so he could reach the water and the soap (!). Granddaddy was supervising, and took the towel down and dried Shep’s hands.  Then we all shared dinner.  Where’s the sacrament?  We didn’t know it had happened until the next time that Shep was over for dinner and handwashing. 

Once again, Shep was getting ready for dinner.  Granddaddy was still on his way home.   Shep’s  Mama told him to wash his hands.  He replied, “But Granddaddy’s not here.”  Again Mama said, “Shep, wash your hands.”  And he said, “OK Mama, but I’m gonna wait for Granddaddy to dry them.”  The holy moment had been while Shep’s hands were being dried by his Granddaddy – tenderly, thoroughly, together, grandfather and grandson.  And he wanted to experience that again.

In all our busyness, we could have missed that Holy Moment.  They happen all around us.  All the time.  Look for them.  Name them.  They are the lavish love of God.  

An Old Fashioned Good Time

An Old Fashioned Good Time

I’m thanking you, God, from a full heart, I’m writing the book on your wonders. I’m whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy; I’m singing your song, High God. Psalm 9: 1,2

It’s the beginning of August. Let me check with you – have you played this summer? What does playing look like for you? Is it full of laughter? Why play? Well, it is often said that play is a child’s work; and I think that grown ups are just bigger versions of children. The experts tell us that play activities are essential to healthy development. This process influences the development of fine and gross motor skills, language, socialization, personal awareness, emotional well-being, creativity, problem solving and learning ability.

When Kelly and I went to Texas for his family reunion, we all played. All our children and their children came and we all played. Kelly’s mom played. People with the last name Shepard were everywhere! The children giggled and laughed and swam and fished and skied. They ran through the yard toward the lake. They made instant friends with family they never knew they had. At one point during that hot Saturday afternoon, Harper, who had just broken her leg two days before, came up to Martin, her Daddy and said, “Daddy, why have you never brought me here before? It’s the best place ever! I never want to go home. ” Sadie cried when we left. We all left with bellies that held too much good Texas cooking, the satisfaction of playing a billion games of train dominoes, memories galore and the glow that comes from sitting under the stars watching the children and grandchildren light the sky with fireworks.

 Play - to take part in an enjoyable activity, especially a game, simply for the sake of amusement.

 The day before we left, we were headed by “the old homeplace” and stopped at the Loving Community Center. Jessica and I got the play! Round and round.  Laughing and carrying on.  Jess and I first met at a reunion when she was 5ish and I was in my twenties. She is Kelly’s first cousin. We have always loved each other. The thing is she lives in Sacramento and we don’t get to play often. But this year, we played. A cherished memory. Joy! And we’ve vowed to continue playing. How about you?

I’m thanking you, God, from a full heart, I’m writing the book on your wonders. I’m whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy; I’m singing your song, High God. Psalm 9: 1,2 

Toolkit Closing ???

"You must arrange to live with deep contentment, joy, and confidence in your everyday experience of life with God." - Dallas Willard

Well, it's been nearly a month since my last blog entry. I have missed this "conversation" and have prayed much about how this will "end" and in what way it will continue. It began as a 30 day blog about the exercises of Benedict and Ignatius. It morphed into almost 30 exercises over a much longer period of time (much longer than I care to think about!). The stuff of life has been happening in good and not so good ways over these last months. It has caused me to cling to my practices ways I had not yet experienced.

We have practiced the examen, written a little rule, practiced Lectio with our senses (Ignatius) and without our senses by soaking ourselves in scripture (Benedict). We have thought about making decisions and prayed about the manner in which we make them. We have wondered and pondered and allowed ourselves to feel the thin places. WE have lit our candles and held seashells and practiced hospitality. We have talked of paradox and our faith journey; we have wrestled with the concept of humility and deep and abiding prayer. We have looked at obedience and considered our motive in our faithfulness.

For me, this quote from Dallas Willard captures my heart, "You must arrange to live with deep contentment, joy, and confidence in your everyday experience of life with God." Everything else follows. Everything. This journey of faith is one that is full of much... when co workers are losing their jobs, when children are placed in protective custody, when my sermon feels like it has or needs training wheels, when I learn of twin grand babies, when I get to lead women on deep journeys, when my faith feels dry and in need of a soaking...I work to remember to live deep...to stand at the crossroads...to breathe...to look...to wonder...to be aware that God is closer than my hands and feet.

My questions to you are these:
Has this journey been helpful to you? How so?
How have Benedict and Ignatius, or more pointedly their teachings, been embraced by your life?
Robert Benson says he has a 21 rule...and among other things you can only go about 21days without a crises...have you, during this "blog time" experienced a hard or difficult time? If so, have these teachings been helpful for you? How so?
What else?
Has your devotional life changed at all?
Are you in any way interested in continuing this conversation/blog?

These are the questions we started with...want to add anything?
1. Do you have any regular spiritual practices? If so, please share them.
2. Would you be willing to spend time each morning and evening focused on developing a spiritual toolbox? How much time?
3. Do you desire a deeper prayer life?
4. What do you want your daily life in God to be shaped like? In other words, what do you want your life in God to look like/feel like?
5. What prevents your living your life like you want or you intend?
6. Is there anything else that would be helpful for me to know?

I'd like to hear. Email me: ellenshep@gmail.com


Resources:
Willard quote from an article written by John Ortberg in LeadershipJournal.net; What I Learned on my Sabbatical. (9/13/10)
Robert Benson; Living Prayer.

A Path

The word is Path.
Visualize your image of the word.
Think of a time when you found yourself on a path.

I remember being on a path with my husband outside of Santa Fe, NM. It was a 1 mile path down to the river. I walked 3 miles a day - no problem, right? I was wearing a denim dress and leather soled shoes...did I mention that we took this path spontaneously? It was hard, so hard, that I thought the walk up would be easier. Was I ever wrong! How did I get myself on this path? It became dark and Kelly was literally pulling me up the path. Not one of our finer moments together.

How did I get on this path? Now that's a question I ask myself often.

Webster defines path as: a trodden way, a way of life, conduct, or thought
The pillow:

One thing I do know - is that no matter how rough the ride - I would rather be where I have been called, been placed - with Jesus - that on any smooth path without him! Did you get that? I would rather be on the roughest rapids with my Lord, that in a gentle stream without him.

Not all sections of the road we travel are smooth, paved or easy riding. We may PREFER the smooth sections of the highway - but sometimes the road gets rough and the rough sections can go on and on for miles and miles

However, it doesn’t mean that you’ve lost your way - you may just be in for the ride of your life. Remember Marilyn poem from the first night - and again during her talk….

What do you do when you’re on a rough ride?
• Relax - but hold on
• Don’t ignore the bumps or pretend the bumps aren’t there
• Slow down - but be careful not to stop
• discover inspiration points
• listen to your heart
• trust what you hear
• invigorate your soul
• look at the larger picture
• draw near to the One who placed you on the path

Sometimes it’s like driving in the dark with only one headlight… on a winding road - in the fog…in a strange city

Learn to live your life with your hands in the air…feel the wind in your hair…and the sun on your shoulders…Embrace the Giver of the ride.

Why are we here? Why are we on this Walk/this path? Whose life will be touched? We don’t know. What we do know is that is that we have been called here - you might even say that we have been placed here - each from our own walks - our own paths.

Where is your path today?

Toolkit #24 A Paradox

My Beloved is for me and I am for my Beloved (Teresa of Avila, Collected Works, Vol. III, 379)

When we surrender ourselves to the Divine, we enter into deep places. We need more courage than we think. “This is the place where a deep and refined purification takes place and where the dark night of the soul may be experienced. When we are in this place, we will be confronted by all that remains to separate us from God; whatever survives in our soul from past wounds and ego desires will emerge to be cleaned. We may also be left to walk alone on this part of the journey, not feeling the presence of God or having human support. However, in traveling through this purifying crucible we will come to know the art of detachment and the purity of humility.” (Falling Into the Arms of God, p 172) We do this with love and courage.

How are you opening to what God wants to give you?

How are you opening your heart?

Where do you see or experience paradox?

Megan Don writes that when we reach this place, it is the place of paradox. She further writes, “If we wish to walk the spiritual pathway …then we best learn, as quickly as possible, that contradiction is very often God’s way. Do not expect God to walk a straight path, and do not expect to walk on one yourself. The map to love has many curves and circular roadways; learning this truth is a spiritual imperative.” (P 174)

Resources:
Don, Megan; Falling into the Arms of God, New World Library, Novato, CA. 2005.

Toolkit # 23 Humility

Humility: Hubris: Fertile Soil.
Both Benedict and Ignatius have a lot to say about the pilgrim’s desire to practice and cultivate humility. Benedict teaches that humility treads gently on life. We know our place and therefore can know and value the others in our world. We can stand with another and not need to take the center of the stage. We no longer need to dominate conversations, people or positions. There is room for all of us – together.

Humility is hard for those of us with big personalities – we tend to take more space than we need. Humility is hard when we know we are right. It is also hard when we know we are good…or better at something than most. Humility is difficult when we feel we deserve recognition for the work we have accomplished.

Benedict explores the pilgrim’s heart far more than the outward perception. His ladder to humility has 12 steps…and it is only the 12th steps that is concerned with our external impressions. Benedict says here that our hearts should be apparent by your bodily movements…whether at work, at prayer, walking about, in the garden, on a journey in the fields, sitting, walking or standing!

How can we live as if our life were fertile soil?

How can we leave room for others and know there will be enough space for us?

How can we submit out of love of God to whatever obedience a superior may require of us?

Rule of Benedict 7: Any [person] who has climbed all these steps of humility will come quickly to that love of God which in its fullness casts out all fear. Carried forward by that love, they will begin to observe without effort as though naturally from good habit all those precepts which in earlier days were kept at least partly through fear…A new motive will have have taken over…the love of Christ.

Aha! Living in humility allows us to the place where there is no fear.

If there is no fear – we can simply be ourselves. Simply be. Be.

Toolkit #22 Practicing What I Preach

Well, if you have been checking in lately, you have noticed that it seems I have checked out. That is partially true! You see my worlds of work, family, and school have collided and I have been trying to stay afloat by practicing what I preach.
When I wake in the night, unable to sleep I concentrate on the Examen. I ask myself the examen questions in many ways.
I try to stay aware of God’s seeking Presence and bask in it.
I pray for those who are hurting.
I ask myself where I have felt strong in my day. Where I have felt weak in my day.
I become aware of how and why my ego may be measuring the events of a day.
I aim to lead with love…even when it is hard and I don’t want to.
I am practicing hospitality the best I can.

Those are the things that I have done. What about the things I haven’t done?
I have not been able to journal. So my journal sits and waits, pen within.
I have not felt a part of community worship, in fact, it is personal worship that is feeding my soul.
I have not been motivated to spend time being creative – yet I have that desire deep within.
I have not been interested in friendship.

So now, today, actually just his moment, I am becoming aware…of myself, others, God in all our midst. I went yesterday after an exhausting work day, to the home of one of our newest residents, a mom who has been without a home. She lives in one of our beautiful, but sparse apartments with her young son and 2 day baby. I arrived with diapers in hand. Just to drop them off. Just to get them out of my car, into her house. And there she was, a 2 day old miracle – head full of hair, wrapped in a blanket, waiting for me to hold her, to pray over her, to make the sign of the cross on her head…while I was praying I looked at her and she smiled at me. This 2 day old baby, with no nursery, no lovely clothes, no home – she was with God and content in that. With God. With God. That is what I am now practicing…being with God.

I believe that Benedict and Ignatius would approve.