Well, if you have been checking in lately, you have noticed that it seems I have checked out. That is partially true! You see my worlds of work, family, and school have collided and I have been trying to stay afloat by practicing what I preach.
When I wake in the night, unable to sleep I concentrate on the Examen. I ask myself the examen questions in many ways.
I try to stay aware of God’s seeking Presence and bask in it.
I pray for those who are hurting.
I ask myself where I have felt strong in my day. Where I have felt weak in my day.
I become aware of how and why my ego may be measuring the events of a day.
I aim to lead with love…even when it is hard and I don’t want to.
I am practicing hospitality the best I can.
Those are the things that I have done. What about the things I haven’t done?
I have not been able to journal. So my journal sits and waits, pen within.
I have not felt a part of community worship, in fact, it is personal worship that is feeding my soul.
I have not been motivated to spend time being creative – yet I have that desire deep within.
I have not been interested in friendship.
So now, today, actually just his moment, I am becoming aware…of myself, others, God in all our midst. I went yesterday after an exhausting work day, to the home of one of our newest residents, a mom who has been without a home. She lives in one of our beautiful, but sparse apartments with her young son and 2 day baby. I arrived with diapers in hand. Just to drop them off. Just to get them out of my car, into her house. And there she was, a 2 day old miracle – head full of hair, wrapped in a blanket, waiting for me to hold her, to pray over her, to make the sign of the cross on her head…while I was praying I looked at her and she smiled at me. This 2 day old baby, with no nursery, no lovely clothes, no home – she was with God and content in that. With God. With God. That is what I am now practicing…being with God.
I believe that Benedict and Ignatius would approve.
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