Toolkit # 23 Humility

Humility: Hubris: Fertile Soil.
Both Benedict and Ignatius have a lot to say about the pilgrim’s desire to practice and cultivate humility. Benedict teaches that humility treads gently on life. We know our place and therefore can know and value the others in our world. We can stand with another and not need to take the center of the stage. We no longer need to dominate conversations, people or positions. There is room for all of us – together.

Humility is hard for those of us with big personalities – we tend to take more space than we need. Humility is hard when we know we are right. It is also hard when we know we are good…or better at something than most. Humility is difficult when we feel we deserve recognition for the work we have accomplished.

Benedict explores the pilgrim’s heart far more than the outward perception. His ladder to humility has 12 steps…and it is only the 12th steps that is concerned with our external impressions. Benedict says here that our hearts should be apparent by your bodily movements…whether at work, at prayer, walking about, in the garden, on a journey in the fields, sitting, walking or standing!

How can we live as if our life were fertile soil?

How can we leave room for others and know there will be enough space for us?

How can we submit out of love of God to whatever obedience a superior may require of us?

Rule of Benedict 7: Any [person] who has climbed all these steps of humility will come quickly to that love of God which in its fullness casts out all fear. Carried forward by that love, they will begin to observe without effort as though naturally from good habit all those precepts which in earlier days were kept at least partly through fear…A new motive will have have taken over…the love of Christ.

Aha! Living in humility allows us to the place where there is no fear.

If there is no fear – we can simply be ourselves. Simply be. Be.

Toolkit #22 Practicing What I Preach

Well, if you have been checking in lately, you have noticed that it seems I have checked out. That is partially true! You see my worlds of work, family, and school have collided and I have been trying to stay afloat by practicing what I preach.
When I wake in the night, unable to sleep I concentrate on the Examen. I ask myself the examen questions in many ways.
I try to stay aware of God’s seeking Presence and bask in it.
I pray for those who are hurting.
I ask myself where I have felt strong in my day. Where I have felt weak in my day.
I become aware of how and why my ego may be measuring the events of a day.
I aim to lead with love…even when it is hard and I don’t want to.
I am practicing hospitality the best I can.

Those are the things that I have done. What about the things I haven’t done?
I have not been able to journal. So my journal sits and waits, pen within.
I have not felt a part of community worship, in fact, it is personal worship that is feeding my soul.
I have not been motivated to spend time being creative – yet I have that desire deep within.
I have not been interested in friendship.

So now, today, actually just his moment, I am becoming aware…of myself, others, God in all our midst. I went yesterday after an exhausting work day, to the home of one of our newest residents, a mom who has been without a home. She lives in one of our beautiful, but sparse apartments with her young son and 2 day baby. I arrived with diapers in hand. Just to drop them off. Just to get them out of my car, into her house. And there she was, a 2 day old miracle – head full of hair, wrapped in a blanket, waiting for me to hold her, to pray over her, to make the sign of the cross on her head…while I was praying I looked at her and she smiled at me. This 2 day old baby, with no nursery, no lovely clothes, no home – she was with God and content in that. With God. With God. That is what I am now practicing…being with God.

I believe that Benedict and Ignatius would approve.

Toolkit #21 Rushing on Ahead

Ever found yourself rushing on ahead of everyone – including God? Ever find yourself doing what you “know is right” but really is what you want to do, anyway? In the ministry in which I work, we have come to a crossroads and are in the midst of closing one of our most basic and long term programs. We are also finding ourselves running on ahead of one another in trying to picture the future – all the while holding onto the past so closely, it is keeping us from reaching toward today and the future. Then last night, I read the following:

“As we walk with God, it is easy to return to running ahead with our own will. Our ever-agile mind can place before us all sort of plans, and it can even convince us that these plans are God’s will. We have been beholden to the whim of our own will and ego for so long that it can, for most of, be a life long process to constantly return to the divine desire. For some like St. Paul a lightning bolt strikes; or for others, a permanent flash of enlightenment occurs. But for most, it is a long transitional phase of returning to the Spirit.
Just the very mention of the word will can immediately raise a feeling of protective defiance within us. It is our will, after all, that enable us to engage in our daily living, or so we believe. But we also witness our will guiding us into situations that either do not evolve as we would like or simple crumble despite all our efforts. We can then experience either anger or a sense of deflation and helplessness, as we simply do not get what we want. When this occurs frequently, life can seem too hard and we wither and fall into depression or we rally our will even more and push with all our might to make things happen as we desire.
Life was not meant to be so difficult, and as we embrace a more spiritual way of being, this is one the greatest lessons and gifts we are given. In receiving this gift, we need to detach from the old way of doing with our smaller (or egotistic) will and move into the newness of being with our larger (or divine) will. We need to realize that the small will is not being annihilated – it is simple being brought into alignment with the larger will. We still employ it is our daily lives, only now it is in service to a greater love and desire.
God desires for us to experience the purity of love that we are…even though we make ourselves deaf to God’s calling, [God] never ceases to speak our name…If we find that we are inclined to love more and to have compassion for our fellow beings, and if we do not raise ourselves above others, then we are coming close to divine love and will.”

This day, as you make decisions, become aware, become detached, sense the Presence of Spirit, and choose Love.

Resources:
Don, Megan; Falling into the Arms of God, Meditations with Teresa of Avila; New World Library, Novato, California, 2005.

Toolkit # 20 A Very Present Day!

I spent the weekend bach-ing it as my beloved was in the Great State of Texas. I delighted in reading 2 books cover to cover! One of the books led me to remember and find, Always We Begin Again, The Benedictine Way of Living.( John McQuiston II, Morehouse Publishing, 1996, NY, NY)

Here are some of the treasures from Benedict’s Rule in McQuiston’s own words:

The Rule is a reliable guide to a profoundly satisfying way of life.
The Rule is deeply idealistic – requiring a persistent effort to transcend self-centered existence.
The Rule supplies us with a basic rhythm for life and makes us aware that we are communal creatures.
Regarding Each Day: We must resolve to treat each hour as the rarest of gifts, and be grateful for the consciousness that allows us to experience it, recalling in thanks that our awareness is a present ...
Life will always provide matter for concern. Each day, however, brings with it reasons for joy.
Be gentle with this life, and use the light of life to live fully in your time (I just love this!)

How is it for you today? Is this very hour the rarest of gifts? Are you conscious of this moment? What are your reasons for joy at this very moment? Are you living fully in your time?

Take moment…be aware of God that is all around you. Ask God to reveal the joy of this moment. Try to live the rest of this day gently, using the light of life to life fully in time.

Toolkit #19 Isaiah 55, Again!

So today, I met with my Spiritual Director, which I do on a monthly basis. Interestingly, she began our time by reading Isaiah 55! I love when God is meddling deep in our lives. You may recall that was our scripture for yesterday’s bible study. I have been sitting with Come, Listen, why do you….that which does not satisfy? I have been hearing my friend singing in my head (which is lots better than me singing, but I did catch myself singing the refrain down the hall late yesterday!)…she was singing, “Come To The Water”.
Now, it could just be that I have a yearning to go the beach – and it’s been far too long! But Something tells me that there is a deeper meaning here. Come, Ellen. Come to the Water. Listen. Be satisfied. Be. I am here. You are enough. You are not judged, so do not judge yourself when adverse things happen.
Come. Listen. Be satisfied.

You might even go to You Tube and listen to Matt Maher's, Come to the Water (with lyrics).



So today, sit with this scripture…as it is found in The Message, and listen.

1-5 "Hey there! All who are thirsty,
come to the water!
Are you penniless?
Come anyway—buy and eat!
Come, buy your drinks, buy wine and milk.
Buy without money—everything's free!
Why do you spend your money on junk food,
your hard-earned cash on cotton candy?
Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best,
fill yourself with only the finest.
Pay attention, come close now,
listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words.
I'm making a lasting covenant commitment with you,
the same that I made with David: sure, solid, enduring love.
I set him up as a witness to the nations,
made him a prince and leader of the nations,
And now I'm doing it to you:
You'll summon nations you've never heard of,
and nations who've never heard of you
will come running to you
Because of me, your God,
because The Holy of Israel has honored you."
6-7Seek God while he's here to be found,
pray to him while he's close at hand.
Let the wicked abandon their way of life
and the evil their way of thinking.
Let them come back to God, who is merciful,
come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness.
8-11"I don't think the way you think.
The way you work isn't the way I work."
God's Decree.
"For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
and don't go back until they've watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
not come back empty-handed.
They'll do the work I sent them to do,
they'll complete the assignment I gave them.
12-13"So you'll go out in joy,
you'll be led into a whole and complete life.
The mountains and hills will lead the parade,
bursting with song.
All the trees of the forest will join the procession,
exuberant with applause.
No more thistles, but giant sequoias,
no more thornbushes, but stately pines—
Monuments to me, to God,
living and lasting evidence of God."

Toolkit #18 Ignatian Scripture Reading

Become aware of the Lord present to you, looking on you with love, desiring to speak to your heart?

Read Isaiah 55:1-13 (found at the end of this post)

Now read it again, aloud, aware of your senses.
Notice what word or phrase calls to you? Sit with that word or phrase.

Some thoughts:
“Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters…”
What is it you are thirsting for? Meaning, love, closeness with the Lord? Allow the Lord to hear your thirst.

“Come, buy…without money and without price”
These are words of pure invitation…all are welcome…all we need is to come

“Why do you spend…your labor for that which does not satisfy?”
Fear, confusion, efforts….
Again, I hear the word, “come”

Everlasting covenant, steadfast love…a bond of belonging and a love that will never fail…

What word most spoke to your heart?
What touched your heart?
What did you sense the Lord saying to you?

1 "Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
3 Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
4 See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader and commander of the peoples.
5 Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor."
6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."

Toolkit 17 A Hard Day

It’s a hard day for me. So I will offer you a poem to ponder and some new ways to experience the examen.

The Sunflowers, by Mary Oliver (Blue Iris)

Come with me
into the field of sunflowers
Their faced are burnished disks,
Their dry spines

Creak like ship masts,
their green leaves,
so heavy and moan,
fill all day with the sticky

Sugars of the sun.
Come with me
to visit the sunflowers,
they are shy

but want to be friends;
they have wonderful stories
of when they were young –
the important weather,

the wandering crows,
don’t be afraid
to ask them questions!
Their bright faces,

which follow the sun,
will listen, and all
those rows of seeds-
each one anew life!-

hope for a deeper acquaintance;
each of them, though it stands
in a crowd of many,
like a separate universe,

Is lonely, the long work
of turning their lives
into a celebration
is not easy. Come

and let us talk with those modest faces,
the simple garments of leaves,
the coarse roots in the earth
so uprightly burning.



Here are some thoughts for days end taken from John O’Donohue’s book, To Bless the Space Between Us; Doubleday, 2008. Choose one or two for your examen.

Where did my eyes linger today?
Where was I blind?
Where was I hurt without anyone noticing?
What did I learn today?
What did I read?
What new thoughts visited me?
Whom did I neglect?
Where did I neglect myself?
What did I begin today that might endure?

Toolkit #16 Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Some years ago, I copied this in my journal: Faithful listening teaches us that God may be as present to us in God’s apparent absence as in the sensible awareness of God’s nearness. It makes us less bound to our narrow expectations of what should be and more present to each situation as a coming from God’s own hand.

Deep listening leads us toward the ability of discerning decisions. Making decisions can be fraught with tension, doubt and what ifs. Often this time of decision making is deciding between two good choices. Ignatius instructs: “In every good choice, as far as depends on us, our intention must be simple. I must consider only the end for which I am created, that is, for the praise of God our Lord and for the salvation of my soul. Hence, whatever I choose must help me to this end for which I am created” (no. 69). The real questions is: “What do you want, God?”

Ignatius gives us three guidelines to consider as we make decisions.
1. Decision without hesitation: recognize the pulling of our hearts – Ignatius actually used the word “attracts” as in “When the Lord so moves and attracts the will that a devout soul…” We can more easily know when God is pulling when we live in a spirit of listening.
2. Decision through discernment: interpreting our moments of consolation and desolation (Note: never make a decision in a period of desolation. That is precisely why we advise parishioners who are in the midst of grief not to make any big life decisions – as in moving, selling a house, remarrying etc.)
3. Decision by faith filled reasoning: the result is a time of tranquility –recognizing deep peace or a sense of knowing as an affirmation from God.

If God want us somewhere else, God will do something to make us reopen the question either through consolation or desolation or some event in our life.

Are there decisions to be made? Listen to the One who whispers your name.



I am here only to be truly helpful.
I am here to represent God who sent me.
I do not have to worry
About what to say or what
to do because God who sent me
will direct me.

I am content to be wherever
God wishes, knowing the Spirit
goes there with me.

I will be healed just as I let
God teach me to heal.
Maisha House of prayer, Atlanta GA , author unknown.

Toolkit #15 Listening

Just in case you were wondering…I am here! This last week I went to Texas – a place where I once lived and loved, but now reside in the piney woods of North Georgia. I live in a very wooded city full of very tall trees just about 30 miles from the base of the Appalachian Trail. I love where I live, but as I was driving out west in those wide open spaces I noticed that a “space”, a holy space,was gently opening up within me. I could see endlessly. I drove for hours – not passing another soul (granted, I was lost and my GPS kept saying “recalculating” with a bit of an attitude! I did finally silence her, too!) As I found my way to familiar small towns on my way home, I received a gift: God gave me the most magnificent sunset I have seen in a long time. A lingering sunset. A majestic sunset. I found myself breathing deeper and slower. I allowed all of DFW and its surrounding cities to roll off my shoulders. I was fully present to the beauty of the place and the colors of the sunset. I had cleared a space (or had God cleared the space?) to listen. Listen, again the first word of Benedict's Rule. Listen.

Why don’t we listen? Why do we fill our precious days with noise and stuff? What is it we need? Gunilla Norris author of Inviting Silence writes her understanding on our need to be still enough to listen, “we very much need three things: an awareness of our inner longing, the courage to act on behalf of that longing and a sense of community to support and maintain our interior journey.”

My friend Colleen, a significant part of my own community who helps me maintain my interior journey, sent me this quote last week, “Monastic spirituality flows from a belief in a God who comes to those who are disposed to listening, who will persevere in seeking God even when it seems pointless or boring. Monastic spirituality is not a running from (obligations, tragedies, brokenness), but running toward - seeking a meaning to the mystery of life in the presence of the living God." From the web page of Christ in the Desert.

We listen in order to turn our face to Jesus.

It was Meister Eckhart who wrote, “Nothing in all creation is so like God as silence.”

Being in silence, we are our truest self. When I look into the eyes of my littlest granddaughter, I see in her eyes a knowing silence. That’s her at the top of the blog…just listening. Giving us all courage to just listen. Let’s join her…


Resources:
Norris, Gunilla; Inviting Silence How to Find Inner Stillness and Calm; Rider, Australia, 2004.