Toolkit #21 Rushing on Ahead

Ever found yourself rushing on ahead of everyone – including God? Ever find yourself doing what you “know is right” but really is what you want to do, anyway? In the ministry in which I work, we have come to a crossroads and are in the midst of closing one of our most basic and long term programs. We are also finding ourselves running on ahead of one another in trying to picture the future – all the while holding onto the past so closely, it is keeping us from reaching toward today and the future. Then last night, I read the following:

“As we walk with God, it is easy to return to running ahead with our own will. Our ever-agile mind can place before us all sort of plans, and it can even convince us that these plans are God’s will. We have been beholden to the whim of our own will and ego for so long that it can, for most of, be a life long process to constantly return to the divine desire. For some like St. Paul a lightning bolt strikes; or for others, a permanent flash of enlightenment occurs. But for most, it is a long transitional phase of returning to the Spirit.
Just the very mention of the word will can immediately raise a feeling of protective defiance within us. It is our will, after all, that enable us to engage in our daily living, or so we believe. But we also witness our will guiding us into situations that either do not evolve as we would like or simple crumble despite all our efforts. We can then experience either anger or a sense of deflation and helplessness, as we simply do not get what we want. When this occurs frequently, life can seem too hard and we wither and fall into depression or we rally our will even more and push with all our might to make things happen as we desire.
Life was not meant to be so difficult, and as we embrace a more spiritual way of being, this is one the greatest lessons and gifts we are given. In receiving this gift, we need to detach from the old way of doing with our smaller (or egotistic) will and move into the newness of being with our larger (or divine) will. We need to realize that the small will is not being annihilated – it is simple being brought into alignment with the larger will. We still employ it is our daily lives, only now it is in service to a greater love and desire.
God desires for us to experience the purity of love that we are…even though we make ourselves deaf to God’s calling, [God] never ceases to speak our name…If we find that we are inclined to love more and to have compassion for our fellow beings, and if we do not raise ourselves above others, then we are coming close to divine love and will.”

This day, as you make decisions, become aware, become detached, sense the Presence of Spirit, and choose Love.

Resources:
Don, Megan; Falling into the Arms of God, Meditations with Teresa of Avila; New World Library, Novato, California, 2005.