Toolkit Closing ???

"You must arrange to live with deep contentment, joy, and confidence in your everyday experience of life with God." - Dallas Willard

Well, it's been nearly a month since my last blog entry. I have missed this "conversation" and have prayed much about how this will "end" and in what way it will continue. It began as a 30 day blog about the exercises of Benedict and Ignatius. It morphed into almost 30 exercises over a much longer period of time (much longer than I care to think about!). The stuff of life has been happening in good and not so good ways over these last months. It has caused me to cling to my practices ways I had not yet experienced.

We have practiced the examen, written a little rule, practiced Lectio with our senses (Ignatius) and without our senses by soaking ourselves in scripture (Benedict). We have thought about making decisions and prayed about the manner in which we make them. We have wondered and pondered and allowed ourselves to feel the thin places. WE have lit our candles and held seashells and practiced hospitality. We have talked of paradox and our faith journey; we have wrestled with the concept of humility and deep and abiding prayer. We have looked at obedience and considered our motive in our faithfulness.

For me, this quote from Dallas Willard captures my heart, "You must arrange to live with deep contentment, joy, and confidence in your everyday experience of life with God." Everything else follows. Everything. This journey of faith is one that is full of much... when co workers are losing their jobs, when children are placed in protective custody, when my sermon feels like it has or needs training wheels, when I learn of twin grand babies, when I get to lead women on deep journeys, when my faith feels dry and in need of a soaking...I work to remember to live deep...to stand at the crossroads...to breathe...to look...to wonder...to be aware that God is closer than my hands and feet.

My questions to you are these:
Has this journey been helpful to you? How so?
How have Benedict and Ignatius, or more pointedly their teachings, been embraced by your life?
Robert Benson says he has a 21 rule...and among other things you can only go about 21days without a crises...have you, during this "blog time" experienced a hard or difficult time? If so, have these teachings been helpful for you? How so?
What else?
Has your devotional life changed at all?
Are you in any way interested in continuing this conversation/blog?

These are the questions we started with...want to add anything?
1. Do you have any regular spiritual practices? If so, please share them.
2. Would you be willing to spend time each morning and evening focused on developing a spiritual toolbox? How much time?
3. Do you desire a deeper prayer life?
4. What do you want your daily life in God to be shaped like? In other words, what do you want your life in God to look like/feel like?
5. What prevents your living your life like you want or you intend?
6. Is there anything else that would be helpful for me to know?

I'd like to hear. Email me: ellenshep@gmail.com


Resources:
Willard quote from an article written by John Ortberg in LeadershipJournal.net; What I Learned on my Sabbatical. (9/13/10)
Robert Benson; Living Prayer.

A Path

The word is Path.
Visualize your image of the word.
Think of a time when you found yourself on a path.

I remember being on a path with my husband outside of Santa Fe, NM. It was a 1 mile path down to the river. I walked 3 miles a day - no problem, right? I was wearing a denim dress and leather soled shoes...did I mention that we took this path spontaneously? It was hard, so hard, that I thought the walk up would be easier. Was I ever wrong! How did I get myself on this path? It became dark and Kelly was literally pulling me up the path. Not one of our finer moments together.

How did I get on this path? Now that's a question I ask myself often.

Webster defines path as: a trodden way, a way of life, conduct, or thought
The pillow:

One thing I do know - is that no matter how rough the ride - I would rather be where I have been called, been placed - with Jesus - that on any smooth path without him! Did you get that? I would rather be on the roughest rapids with my Lord, that in a gentle stream without him.

Not all sections of the road we travel are smooth, paved or easy riding. We may PREFER the smooth sections of the highway - but sometimes the road gets rough and the rough sections can go on and on for miles and miles

However, it doesn’t mean that you’ve lost your way - you may just be in for the ride of your life. Remember Marilyn poem from the first night - and again during her talk….

What do you do when you’re on a rough ride?
• Relax - but hold on
• Don’t ignore the bumps or pretend the bumps aren’t there
• Slow down - but be careful not to stop
• discover inspiration points
• listen to your heart
• trust what you hear
• invigorate your soul
• look at the larger picture
• draw near to the One who placed you on the path

Sometimes it’s like driving in the dark with only one headlight… on a winding road - in the fog…in a strange city

Learn to live your life with your hands in the air…feel the wind in your hair…and the sun on your shoulders…Embrace the Giver of the ride.

Why are we here? Why are we on this Walk/this path? Whose life will be touched? We don’t know. What we do know is that is that we have been called here - you might even say that we have been placed here - each from our own walks - our own paths.

Where is your path today?

Toolkit #24 A Paradox

My Beloved is for me and I am for my Beloved (Teresa of Avila, Collected Works, Vol. III, 379)

When we surrender ourselves to the Divine, we enter into deep places. We need more courage than we think. “This is the place where a deep and refined purification takes place and where the dark night of the soul may be experienced. When we are in this place, we will be confronted by all that remains to separate us from God; whatever survives in our soul from past wounds and ego desires will emerge to be cleaned. We may also be left to walk alone on this part of the journey, not feeling the presence of God or having human support. However, in traveling through this purifying crucible we will come to know the art of detachment and the purity of humility.” (Falling Into the Arms of God, p 172) We do this with love and courage.

How are you opening to what God wants to give you?

How are you opening your heart?

Where do you see or experience paradox?

Megan Don writes that when we reach this place, it is the place of paradox. She further writes, “If we wish to walk the spiritual pathway …then we best learn, as quickly as possible, that contradiction is very often God’s way. Do not expect God to walk a straight path, and do not expect to walk on one yourself. The map to love has many curves and circular roadways; learning this truth is a spiritual imperative.” (P 174)

Resources:
Don, Megan; Falling into the Arms of God, New World Library, Novato, CA. 2005.

Toolkit # 23 Humility

Humility: Hubris: Fertile Soil.
Both Benedict and Ignatius have a lot to say about the pilgrim’s desire to practice and cultivate humility. Benedict teaches that humility treads gently on life. We know our place and therefore can know and value the others in our world. We can stand with another and not need to take the center of the stage. We no longer need to dominate conversations, people or positions. There is room for all of us – together.

Humility is hard for those of us with big personalities – we tend to take more space than we need. Humility is hard when we know we are right. It is also hard when we know we are good…or better at something than most. Humility is difficult when we feel we deserve recognition for the work we have accomplished.

Benedict explores the pilgrim’s heart far more than the outward perception. His ladder to humility has 12 steps…and it is only the 12th steps that is concerned with our external impressions. Benedict says here that our hearts should be apparent by your bodily movements…whether at work, at prayer, walking about, in the garden, on a journey in the fields, sitting, walking or standing!

How can we live as if our life were fertile soil?

How can we leave room for others and know there will be enough space for us?

How can we submit out of love of God to whatever obedience a superior may require of us?

Rule of Benedict 7: Any [person] who has climbed all these steps of humility will come quickly to that love of God which in its fullness casts out all fear. Carried forward by that love, they will begin to observe without effort as though naturally from good habit all those precepts which in earlier days were kept at least partly through fear…A new motive will have have taken over…the love of Christ.

Aha! Living in humility allows us to the place where there is no fear.

If there is no fear – we can simply be ourselves. Simply be. Be.

Toolkit #22 Practicing What I Preach

Well, if you have been checking in lately, you have noticed that it seems I have checked out. That is partially true! You see my worlds of work, family, and school have collided and I have been trying to stay afloat by practicing what I preach.
When I wake in the night, unable to sleep I concentrate on the Examen. I ask myself the examen questions in many ways.
I try to stay aware of God’s seeking Presence and bask in it.
I pray for those who are hurting.
I ask myself where I have felt strong in my day. Where I have felt weak in my day.
I become aware of how and why my ego may be measuring the events of a day.
I aim to lead with love…even when it is hard and I don’t want to.
I am practicing hospitality the best I can.

Those are the things that I have done. What about the things I haven’t done?
I have not been able to journal. So my journal sits and waits, pen within.
I have not felt a part of community worship, in fact, it is personal worship that is feeding my soul.
I have not been motivated to spend time being creative – yet I have that desire deep within.
I have not been interested in friendship.

So now, today, actually just his moment, I am becoming aware…of myself, others, God in all our midst. I went yesterday after an exhausting work day, to the home of one of our newest residents, a mom who has been without a home. She lives in one of our beautiful, but sparse apartments with her young son and 2 day baby. I arrived with diapers in hand. Just to drop them off. Just to get them out of my car, into her house. And there she was, a 2 day old miracle – head full of hair, wrapped in a blanket, waiting for me to hold her, to pray over her, to make the sign of the cross on her head…while I was praying I looked at her and she smiled at me. This 2 day old baby, with no nursery, no lovely clothes, no home – she was with God and content in that. With God. With God. That is what I am now practicing…being with God.

I believe that Benedict and Ignatius would approve.

Toolkit #21 Rushing on Ahead

Ever found yourself rushing on ahead of everyone – including God? Ever find yourself doing what you “know is right” but really is what you want to do, anyway? In the ministry in which I work, we have come to a crossroads and are in the midst of closing one of our most basic and long term programs. We are also finding ourselves running on ahead of one another in trying to picture the future – all the while holding onto the past so closely, it is keeping us from reaching toward today and the future. Then last night, I read the following:

“As we walk with God, it is easy to return to running ahead with our own will. Our ever-agile mind can place before us all sort of plans, and it can even convince us that these plans are God’s will. We have been beholden to the whim of our own will and ego for so long that it can, for most of, be a life long process to constantly return to the divine desire. For some like St. Paul a lightning bolt strikes; or for others, a permanent flash of enlightenment occurs. But for most, it is a long transitional phase of returning to the Spirit.
Just the very mention of the word will can immediately raise a feeling of protective defiance within us. It is our will, after all, that enable us to engage in our daily living, or so we believe. But we also witness our will guiding us into situations that either do not evolve as we would like or simple crumble despite all our efforts. We can then experience either anger or a sense of deflation and helplessness, as we simply do not get what we want. When this occurs frequently, life can seem too hard and we wither and fall into depression or we rally our will even more and push with all our might to make things happen as we desire.
Life was not meant to be so difficult, and as we embrace a more spiritual way of being, this is one the greatest lessons and gifts we are given. In receiving this gift, we need to detach from the old way of doing with our smaller (or egotistic) will and move into the newness of being with our larger (or divine) will. We need to realize that the small will is not being annihilated – it is simple being brought into alignment with the larger will. We still employ it is our daily lives, only now it is in service to a greater love and desire.
God desires for us to experience the purity of love that we are…even though we make ourselves deaf to God’s calling, [God] never ceases to speak our name…If we find that we are inclined to love more and to have compassion for our fellow beings, and if we do not raise ourselves above others, then we are coming close to divine love and will.”

This day, as you make decisions, become aware, become detached, sense the Presence of Spirit, and choose Love.

Resources:
Don, Megan; Falling into the Arms of God, Meditations with Teresa of Avila; New World Library, Novato, California, 2005.

Toolkit # 20 A Very Present Day!

I spent the weekend bach-ing it as my beloved was in the Great State of Texas. I delighted in reading 2 books cover to cover! One of the books led me to remember and find, Always We Begin Again, The Benedictine Way of Living.( John McQuiston II, Morehouse Publishing, 1996, NY, NY)

Here are some of the treasures from Benedict’s Rule in McQuiston’s own words:

The Rule is a reliable guide to a profoundly satisfying way of life.
The Rule is deeply idealistic – requiring a persistent effort to transcend self-centered existence.
The Rule supplies us with a basic rhythm for life and makes us aware that we are communal creatures.
Regarding Each Day: We must resolve to treat each hour as the rarest of gifts, and be grateful for the consciousness that allows us to experience it, recalling in thanks that our awareness is a present ...
Life will always provide matter for concern. Each day, however, brings with it reasons for joy.
Be gentle with this life, and use the light of life to live fully in your time (I just love this!)

How is it for you today? Is this very hour the rarest of gifts? Are you conscious of this moment? What are your reasons for joy at this very moment? Are you living fully in your time?

Take moment…be aware of God that is all around you. Ask God to reveal the joy of this moment. Try to live the rest of this day gently, using the light of life to life fully in time.

Toolkit #19 Isaiah 55, Again!

So today, I met with my Spiritual Director, which I do on a monthly basis. Interestingly, she began our time by reading Isaiah 55! I love when God is meddling deep in our lives. You may recall that was our scripture for yesterday’s bible study. I have been sitting with Come, Listen, why do you….that which does not satisfy? I have been hearing my friend singing in my head (which is lots better than me singing, but I did catch myself singing the refrain down the hall late yesterday!)…she was singing, “Come To The Water”.
Now, it could just be that I have a yearning to go the beach – and it’s been far too long! But Something tells me that there is a deeper meaning here. Come, Ellen. Come to the Water. Listen. Be satisfied. Be. I am here. You are enough. You are not judged, so do not judge yourself when adverse things happen.
Come. Listen. Be satisfied.

You might even go to You Tube and listen to Matt Maher's, Come to the Water (with lyrics).



So today, sit with this scripture…as it is found in The Message, and listen.

1-5 "Hey there! All who are thirsty,
come to the water!
Are you penniless?
Come anyway—buy and eat!
Come, buy your drinks, buy wine and milk.
Buy without money—everything's free!
Why do you spend your money on junk food,
your hard-earned cash on cotton candy?
Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best,
fill yourself with only the finest.
Pay attention, come close now,
listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words.
I'm making a lasting covenant commitment with you,
the same that I made with David: sure, solid, enduring love.
I set him up as a witness to the nations,
made him a prince and leader of the nations,
And now I'm doing it to you:
You'll summon nations you've never heard of,
and nations who've never heard of you
will come running to you
Because of me, your God,
because The Holy of Israel has honored you."
6-7Seek God while he's here to be found,
pray to him while he's close at hand.
Let the wicked abandon their way of life
and the evil their way of thinking.
Let them come back to God, who is merciful,
come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness.
8-11"I don't think the way you think.
The way you work isn't the way I work."
God's Decree.
"For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
and don't go back until they've watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
not come back empty-handed.
They'll do the work I sent them to do,
they'll complete the assignment I gave them.
12-13"So you'll go out in joy,
you'll be led into a whole and complete life.
The mountains and hills will lead the parade,
bursting with song.
All the trees of the forest will join the procession,
exuberant with applause.
No more thistles, but giant sequoias,
no more thornbushes, but stately pines—
Monuments to me, to God,
living and lasting evidence of God."

Toolkit #18 Ignatian Scripture Reading

Become aware of the Lord present to you, looking on you with love, desiring to speak to your heart?

Read Isaiah 55:1-13 (found at the end of this post)

Now read it again, aloud, aware of your senses.
Notice what word or phrase calls to you? Sit with that word or phrase.

Some thoughts:
“Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters…”
What is it you are thirsting for? Meaning, love, closeness with the Lord? Allow the Lord to hear your thirst.

“Come, buy…without money and without price”
These are words of pure invitation…all are welcome…all we need is to come

“Why do you spend…your labor for that which does not satisfy?”
Fear, confusion, efforts….
Again, I hear the word, “come”

Everlasting covenant, steadfast love…a bond of belonging and a love that will never fail…

What word most spoke to your heart?
What touched your heart?
What did you sense the Lord saying to you?

1 "Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
3 Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
4 See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader and commander of the peoples.
5 Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor."
6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."

Toolkit 17 A Hard Day

It’s a hard day for me. So I will offer you a poem to ponder and some new ways to experience the examen.

The Sunflowers, by Mary Oliver (Blue Iris)

Come with me
into the field of sunflowers
Their faced are burnished disks,
Their dry spines

Creak like ship masts,
their green leaves,
so heavy and moan,
fill all day with the sticky

Sugars of the sun.
Come with me
to visit the sunflowers,
they are shy

but want to be friends;
they have wonderful stories
of when they were young –
the important weather,

the wandering crows,
don’t be afraid
to ask them questions!
Their bright faces,

which follow the sun,
will listen, and all
those rows of seeds-
each one anew life!-

hope for a deeper acquaintance;
each of them, though it stands
in a crowd of many,
like a separate universe,

Is lonely, the long work
of turning their lives
into a celebration
is not easy. Come

and let us talk with those modest faces,
the simple garments of leaves,
the coarse roots in the earth
so uprightly burning.



Here are some thoughts for days end taken from John O’Donohue’s book, To Bless the Space Between Us; Doubleday, 2008. Choose one or two for your examen.

Where did my eyes linger today?
Where was I blind?
Where was I hurt without anyone noticing?
What did I learn today?
What did I read?
What new thoughts visited me?
Whom did I neglect?
Where did I neglect myself?
What did I begin today that might endure?

Toolkit #16 Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Some years ago, I copied this in my journal: Faithful listening teaches us that God may be as present to us in God’s apparent absence as in the sensible awareness of God’s nearness. It makes us less bound to our narrow expectations of what should be and more present to each situation as a coming from God’s own hand.

Deep listening leads us toward the ability of discerning decisions. Making decisions can be fraught with tension, doubt and what ifs. Often this time of decision making is deciding between two good choices. Ignatius instructs: “In every good choice, as far as depends on us, our intention must be simple. I must consider only the end for which I am created, that is, for the praise of God our Lord and for the salvation of my soul. Hence, whatever I choose must help me to this end for which I am created” (no. 69). The real questions is: “What do you want, God?”

Ignatius gives us three guidelines to consider as we make decisions.
1. Decision without hesitation: recognize the pulling of our hearts – Ignatius actually used the word “attracts” as in “When the Lord so moves and attracts the will that a devout soul…” We can more easily know when God is pulling when we live in a spirit of listening.
2. Decision through discernment: interpreting our moments of consolation and desolation (Note: never make a decision in a period of desolation. That is precisely why we advise parishioners who are in the midst of grief not to make any big life decisions – as in moving, selling a house, remarrying etc.)
3. Decision by faith filled reasoning: the result is a time of tranquility –recognizing deep peace or a sense of knowing as an affirmation from God.

If God want us somewhere else, God will do something to make us reopen the question either through consolation or desolation or some event in our life.

Are there decisions to be made? Listen to the One who whispers your name.



I am here only to be truly helpful.
I am here to represent God who sent me.
I do not have to worry
About what to say or what
to do because God who sent me
will direct me.

I am content to be wherever
God wishes, knowing the Spirit
goes there with me.

I will be healed just as I let
God teach me to heal.
Maisha House of prayer, Atlanta GA , author unknown.

Toolkit #15 Listening

Just in case you were wondering…I am here! This last week I went to Texas – a place where I once lived and loved, but now reside in the piney woods of North Georgia. I live in a very wooded city full of very tall trees just about 30 miles from the base of the Appalachian Trail. I love where I live, but as I was driving out west in those wide open spaces I noticed that a “space”, a holy space,was gently opening up within me. I could see endlessly. I drove for hours – not passing another soul (granted, I was lost and my GPS kept saying “recalculating” with a bit of an attitude! I did finally silence her, too!) As I found my way to familiar small towns on my way home, I received a gift: God gave me the most magnificent sunset I have seen in a long time. A lingering sunset. A majestic sunset. I found myself breathing deeper and slower. I allowed all of DFW and its surrounding cities to roll off my shoulders. I was fully present to the beauty of the place and the colors of the sunset. I had cleared a space (or had God cleared the space?) to listen. Listen, again the first word of Benedict's Rule. Listen.

Why don’t we listen? Why do we fill our precious days with noise and stuff? What is it we need? Gunilla Norris author of Inviting Silence writes her understanding on our need to be still enough to listen, “we very much need three things: an awareness of our inner longing, the courage to act on behalf of that longing and a sense of community to support and maintain our interior journey.”

My friend Colleen, a significant part of my own community who helps me maintain my interior journey, sent me this quote last week, “Monastic spirituality flows from a belief in a God who comes to those who are disposed to listening, who will persevere in seeking God even when it seems pointless or boring. Monastic spirituality is not a running from (obligations, tragedies, brokenness), but running toward - seeking a meaning to the mystery of life in the presence of the living God." From the web page of Christ in the Desert.

We listen in order to turn our face to Jesus.

It was Meister Eckhart who wrote, “Nothing in all creation is so like God as silence.”

Being in silence, we are our truest self. When I look into the eyes of my littlest granddaughter, I see in her eyes a knowing silence. That’s her at the top of the blog…just listening. Giving us all courage to just listen. Let’s join her…


Resources:
Norris, Gunilla; Inviting Silence How to Find Inner Stillness and Calm; Rider, Australia, 2004.

Toolkit #14 A Little Book of Hours

Benedict gave us the practice of praying the hours. But how do we do that today?? What will be the most meaningful practice for us? I'd like to suggest an expressive art activity – that you will make a Book of Hours or A Little Rule that will be useful in your own life.

Supplies: magazines, scissors, glue sticks, clear contact paper, markers, water colors, pens, pencils and tag board that is pre-cut and pre-folded.



Keeping the Hours (you choose the color or abject to accompany)
Based on Seven Sacred Pauses, Living Mindfully Through the Hours of the Day, Macrina Wiederkehr; 2008

1.The Night Watch, midnight until dawn; matins or vigils
Themes: vigilance and deep listening, mystery and silence, surrender and trust
Psalms: 42, 63, 119:145-152 (chose one or more)
Quote: What in me is dark, illumine.
I have seen too many stars to let the darkness overwhelm me.
Color or object:


What can you create from this brief outline that will equip you to pray through the hours?

Toolkit #13

Today is a prayer for your journey. It is a prayer from the monastic tradition – from Thomas Merton, a Cistercian. A prayer to pray, to ponder, to ruminate over, to consider, to envelope, to adopt, to change. What will it be for you?

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude" adapted from Choosing to Love the World, On Contemplation, page 99.

Toolkit #12 A Little Rule

We are all on a journey. It is our personal journey – and we travel it along side others. We learn from those we travel with and from those who have traveled before. We learn by making mistakes. And we learn by educating ourselves. We learn by making choices. The way we experience, process, think, pray, read, enhances and personalizes our journey. What we do with our journey is ours to decide. When we take time to spend on our journey through a day, a bible study, or a retreat we are making our spiritual life a priority. I believe that when we interrupt our daily lives and make larger amounts of uninterrupted time available for God to shape us, we find space for growth that is often more powerful than the growth that surely happens in our full and busy lives. I also believe that God uniquely speaks to us when we immerse ourselves in nature, which is surely one of the benefits of a day apart or weekend away. We have been learning much from Ignatius and Benedict, both whom wrote rules, firections, orders, plans for their lives. Perhaps this is a good time for you to do the same:
Creating, A Little Rule, From Soul Feast, page 137-138 (written my Majorie Thompson, Upper Room Books).

“There is a name in Christian tradition for the kind of structure that support our spiritual growth. It is called a rule of life. Without a rule of life, very little of what you have been reading and exploring will prove to be of lasting value to you. This is an opportunity for you to begin putting together what you have learned. It is time to make some choice concerning the spiritual practices you fell called to engage in.

A rule of life is a pattern of spiritual disciplines that provides structure and direction for growth in holiness. When we speak of patterns in our life, we mean attitudes, behaviors or elements that are routine, repeated, regular…A rule of life, like a trellis, curbs our tendency to wander and supports our frail efforts to grow spiritually…The purpose of a rule is to help us grow into holiness. God calls us to holy as God is holy, to grow into greater intimacy with the One we are created to resemble”

Take a bit of time and discern what disciplines you are drawn to. Choose 3 or 4 to weave into your life. Write them down. Commit yourself to them. Find someone who will hold you accountable to your little rule.

Write your rule on the paper provided. You may choose to decorate, paint, collage your little rule. When you are finished, find a friend and share your rule.

Toolkit #11 The Examen

About the Examen

My friend, you have been practicing the Examen for two weeks. It should be close to a habit and be helping you to live your life awake and aware. Read now what an Ignatian scholar writes about the Examen:

“The Examen is not about good or bad actions, but about how God is moving me. Its focus is not on me; it is on God in me and how I respond to God’s loving initiative. What are the implications of my unique gifts? What do my personality, strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, choices and dilemmas tell me about God’s movements in my life? The Examen makes us more aware of our inner movements and which are Spirit-inspired. It fosters the realizations that the present moment, ordinary as it may be, is the fruit of past choices and leads to future ones. But the Examen also helps us pay attention to how our choices impel us toward necessary consequences, perhaps taking us our of our comfort zone. It moves from a superficial survey of what happened in a day, to a deeper sense of patterns I one’s life. The first step, noticing, needs o be followed by analysis, judgment, and choosing, for as one sees, one judges and acts. The goal of the Examen is to develop a discerning heart throughout all of life, finding God in all things. My life is not long an “I” it is a “we”.” (Gooley, chapter 2)

During your Examen, pray to experience God’s love for you. Pray to be utterly available. Pray to not be attached – pray that you may not cling to whatever separates you from God.

Toolkit #10 Seeing with Right Eyes, Another look at Hospitality

Hospitality is a key to Benedictine spirituality. Hospitality is the center of what it means to be a Christian. It is the quality of disposition of receiving and treating quests in a warm, friendly and generous way. Radical hospitality then is extreme and thorough care of the other. It is ingrained within us. It is indiscriminate love for the other and it is the center of what it means to be a Christian. When Benedict wrote of hospitality, he stressed the importance of welcoming the outsider, the poor, the pilgrim. Radical hospitality creates sacred space where the guest is free to be alone, to enter silence, to rest or to pray. An open heart is a stance of availability and looking for God in every single person. I believe that Benedict would say we are all headed toward God – that we live our lives with purpose with a radical position that everything matters – and live – all life and any life, is holy ground. At its best, hospitality puts an end to injustice. It is a spiritual practice. For Benedict and for us, we can find God in other people – and we just can’t ignore people when God is looking out their eyes at you.

In the tiresome, the invalid, the rebellious – we are faced with God. This kind of radical hospitality is about saving lives. It prevents us from living desperately or indifferently. It requires us to have open hearts and a widening of our boundaries. To be hospitable is to wait with the other – wait for deep places to open in the our hearts. Sometimes we need to be hospital toward ourselves. .

Some years ago, I had the privilege of traveling with my husband on business to Jamaica. I spent lots of time on the beach, walking, thinking, praying, being. It was a peaceful place to be. The voices of those who lived on the island were lyrical…I just loved their voices! And the art – it was so abundant, everywhere. Even on the beaches, artists were selling theirs carvings, paintings, and other creations. On the next to last day, I was approached by an islander with the most wonderful song-like voice. He was selling just one thing. A very beautiful conch shell. He wanted $20 for the shell. Now it was a beautiful shell, but $20 is a lot of money, especially in Jamaica, for a shell. He showed me the intricacies of the shell, it’s beauty – how he had polished half of the shell. The other half was covered with barnacles – and was a sight to see – and not necessarily a thing of beauty either. I worked hard to negotiate for a more reasonable price, but he held firm. It was $20 or no shell. I left, no shell.
My last morning, I walked out on the beach for a last glimpse of the ocean, and while there, the man with the shell approached. Truthfully, I was hoping to see him. I had not let the thought of the shell leave my mind. Now really, what else would I spend that $20 buying? Negotiating once again, he assured me that the price was the same. It had been very hard work polishing that shell (actually only half the shell). As you can probably guess, I bought the shell. It is quite beautiful. I bought it as a reminder…the half covered with the debris of the bottom of the ocean, that is how the world sees us. The beautiful half, where the color and luster and real beauty of the shell shines through, this is the way God sees us!
Friends, may we begin to see ourselves and each other, the way God sees us. May we live with hospitable hearts, making room for the beauty of the other in our lives and in our living. May it be.

Your thoughts???

Toolkit #9 Hospitality - Revisited

A favorite story of mine is by William R. White - it's called, The Rabbi's Gift. It's from Stories For The Journey, A Sourcebook for Christian Storytellers. Note: The leader should be able to tell this from the heart.

"A famous monastery had fallen on hard times. Formerly its many buildings were filled with young monks, but now it was all but deserted. People no longer came there to be nourished by prayer, and only a handful of old monks shuffled through the cloisters serving God with heavy hearts.

On the edge of the monastery woods, an old rabbi had built a little hut. He would come there, from time to time, to fast and pray. No one ever spoke with him, but whenever he appeared, the word would be passed from monk to monk: 'The rabbi walks in the woods.' And, for as long as he was there, the monks would feel sustained by his prayerful presence.

One day the abbot decided to visit the rabbi and open his heavy heart to him. So, after the morning Eucharist, he set out through the woods. As he approached the hut, the abbot saw the rabbi standing in the doorway, as if he had been awaiting the abbot's arrival, his arms outstretched in welcome.

They embraced like long-lost brothers. The two entered the hut where, in the middle of the room, stood a wooden table with the scriptures open on it.

They sat for a moment in the presence of the Book. Then the rabbi began to weep. The abbot could not contain himself. He covered his face with his hands and began to cry too. For the first time in his life, he cried his heart out. The two men sat there like lost children, filling the hut with their shared pain and tears. But soon the tears ceased and all was quiet.
The rabbi lifted his head. 'You and your brothers are serving God with heavy hearts,' he said. 'You have come to ask a teaching of me. I will give you a teaching, but you can repeat it only once. After that, no one must ever say it aloud again.'

The rabbi looked straight at the abbot and said, 'The Messiah is among you.'
For a while, all was silent. The rabbi said, 'Now you must go.' The abbot left without a word and without ever looking back. The next morning, the abbot called his monks together in the chapter room. He told them he had received a teaching from the 'rabbi who walks in the woods' and that the teaching was never again to be spoken aloud. Then he looked at the group of assembled brothers and said, 'The rabbi said that one of us is the Messiah.'

The monks were startled by this saying. 'What could it mean?' they asked themselves. 'Is Brother John the Messiah? Or Brother Matthew or Brother Thomas? Am I the Messiah? What could all this mean?' They were all deeply puzzled by the rabbi's teaching, but no one ever mentioned it again.

As time went by, the monks began to treat one another with a new and very special reverence. A gentle, warm-hearted, concern began to grow among them which was hard to describe but easy to notice. They began to live with each other as people who had finally found the special something they were looking for, yet they prayer the Scriptures together as people who were always looking for something else.

When visitors came to the monastery they found themselves deeply moved by the life of these monks. Word spread, and before long people were coming from far and wide to be nourished by the prayer life of the monks and to experience the loving reverence in which they held each other. Soon, other young men were asking, once again, to become a part of the community, and the community grew and prospered.

In those days, the rabbi no longer walked in the woods. His hut had fallen into ruins. Yet somehow, the old monks who had taken his teaching to heart still felt sustained by his wise and prayerful presence.

Questions to ponder in the silence. The leader should leave several minutes between each question.

I wonder: I wonder what life would be like if we treated each person as if they were the Messiah?
I wonder: Have there been times when I have been treated as the Messiah?
I wonder: When have I missed an opportunity to treat another as holy?

Toolkit # 8 Benedictine Obedience

Benedict again – who comes to us in unexpected ways! Today he brings us a message in obedience in order to discern.

“Narrow is the road that leads to life. They no longer live by their own judgment, giving in to their whims and appetites; rather they walk according to another’s decisions and direction, choosing to live in monasteries…this very obedience, however, will be acceptable to God and agreeable to others if compliance with what is commanded is not cringing or sluggish or half hearted, but free from an grumbling or any reaction of unwillingness. For the obedience shown to superiors is given to God.” (RB 5:10-15)

Benedictine obedience is obedience without an attitude. It is obedience in order to unify a community and to direct each other’s attention toward God. This kind of obedience lies in listening with the heart and to do what is called for and expected. It is not an obedience that points toward perfection, rather with an expectation that all of life is open to the possibility of change, in short because God is not defined by yesterday. Benedictine obedience demands self-discipline and it presumes struggle; it full of respect and it is full of humility. Obedience in this fashion is a listening with compassion without control – for one’s self and for the other. Obedience so that we are able to discern the Divine call on our lives.

It seems the most commonly asked question that the youth I work with struggle with is, “What is my purpose, why was I made? Why am I in this world?” Not too long ago I did some continuing education in Santa Fe (I know, right?) with my friend Nancy who is also a United Methodist pastor. We had found a small store that sold religious items. You know the sort of place, it is one of those places that sell icons, and paintings and holy cards as well as book galore. This shop was owned by a small little woman whose name was Connie Morales. She was a little woman – probably not quite 5 feet tall. And she had the kind of face I just love to look at – small face with deep wrinkles, crevices really, that were especially charming when she smiled. She was really old – so very old, that it was hard for her to move – hard to see – hard to last the whole day. Some would say she was older than dirt! But, there was this light in her eyes that was very young. While I was visiting her shop she gave me a charm of St. Benedict and a safety pin and told me that I should wear it pinned to my clothing every day! That he would protect me. Okkkkkay.
Anyway, we got to talking and I asked her how she came by that store. She told me it was originally her mother’s store – I think there was still stuff that belonged to her mom in that store. She was planning on getting a job at the post office when her mother died. Until then, she cared for her mother and ran the little shop. When her mother was on her death bed, she told Connie, “You know, you shouldn't leave the little shop. No one has what you have to give. People need what only you can give.” Did you hear that? No one has what you have to give. People need what only you can give.

Well, I would say that to each of you: No one has what you have to give – and the world needs what you have to give.
You are unique and a gift to the world from our Creator.
Live into yourself.
Discover the very thing that God made you for.
Listen to your heart.
Listen to others as they tell you what you are good for.
The scriptures say it like this:
You show us that you are a letter of Christ, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God…on tablets of human hearts. 2 Corinthians 3:3
So get out there – no one has what you have to offer – you are a letter from Christ, written with the Spirit of the living God. Oh, and by the way, you might be interested to know that I have St. Benedict pinned on my clothes – even today!

You might feel drawn to journal about this – or sit with the scripture in a Lectio manner.

Toolkit #7 Benedictine Spirituality and Hospitality

Today is primary election day! There were many volunteers at my local polling center. They were assuredly free of agenda other than creating a safe and welcoming place for me and many others to vote. As I left, I was thanked for my service and given a sticker! Did I just experience a bit of hospitality?

From The Rule of St Benedict:

As our lives and faith progress, the heart expands and with the sweetness of love we move down the path of God’s commandments. Never departing from his guidance…we patiently share in Christ’s passion, so we may eventually enter into the Kingdom of God.


“All guests who present themselves are to be welcomed as Christ, for he himself will say: ‘I was a stranger and you welcomed me.’”
The Rule of St. Benedict 53:1


“Once a guest has been announced, the superior and the community are to meet the guest with all the courtesy and love.”
The Rule of St. Benedict 53:3

“Great care and concern are to be shown in receiving poor people and pilgrims, because in them more particularly Christ is received…”
The Rule of St. Benedict 53:15


Benedict’s life as we know it:
Benedict (c. 480 – c. 547) is known as the founder of the western Christian monastic movement. Perhaps most well known for his “Rule”, a guideline for monks living in community. His “Rule” became one of the most influential framework in western Christendom and is still used in monasteries and convents today. There is little written about Benedict’s life. Rather we have a spiritual portrait of his gentle and disciplined life given to us by Pope Gregory in his Dialogues . As a young man, Benedict left Rome and became a hermit for three years living in a cave above the lake near Subiaco (today known as Affile), some 40 miles from Rome. During these years, Benedict matured, and was invited to become the abbot of a monastery left without leadership. Benedict agreed, but the experiment failed with the monks trying to poison him. He then returned to a life lived in solitude, but many were drawn to learn from his character and perceived holiness. As they came, Benedict built them monasteries, 12 in total each housing 12 monks. With each of these, he gave his “Rule”, the manner by which each person was to live and each house was to run.

Benedict’s Messages:
Hospitality to the stranger
Gratitude
Devotion to God
Obedience
Keeping Silence –silence is an expression of his humility.
Humility
Prayer known almost entirely as Lectio Divina – God is more interested in the purity of our hearts than our words. Prayers should be short and pure
There is no spirituality separate from the “rest of life”
Work of the community (the community must be self supporting)


Benedictine Spirituality:
It seeks to fill the empty and heal the broken
It is attention and awareness
It is reading and praying the scriptures, particularly the Gospels
Listening is the key – to the Gospels, the Rule, one another and the world around us.


From Benedict we are called to serve one another in love. The monastic image is that we are all travelers – all a little lost – and all looking for Rest. Someone once said that the opposite of cruelty is not simply freedom from the cruel relationship, it is hospitality. (Homan and Pratt, page 5) Hospitality puts an end to injustice. According to Benedict, hospitality is a spiritual practice.

“All guests who present themselves are to be welcomed as Christ, for he himself will say: ‘I was a stranger and you welcomed me.’”
The Rule of St. Benedict 53:1

“Once a guest has been announced, the superior and the community are to meet the guest with all the courtesy and love.”
The Rule of St. Benedict 53:3

“Great care and concern are to be shown in receiving poor people and pilgrims, because in them more particularly Christ is received…”
The Rule of St. Benedict 53:15

This was a hospitality offered during historically violent times during the fall of the Roman Empire. Homan and Pratt write, “Monastic hospitality creates sacred space where the guest is free to be alone, to enter silence, to pray and rest. No one is compelled to fill up the guest’s spare time or set an agenda for him or her. Hospitality is living openhanded.” Benedict instructs us to have an open heart, to present ourselves in a stance of availability and to have a curious seeking for presence of God which is all around us.

For today: Practice the discipline of hospitality. Notice where you were welcomed and where you were welcoming. Notice the absence of hospitality.

Resources:
Pope Gregory, Dialogues, Book Two, 593.
Homan, Daniel and Pratt, Lonni Collins; Radical Hospitality, Benedict’s Way of Love, Parcelette, Press, Massachuetts, 2002.

Toolkit #6 Ignatian Bible Study

Last fall I had the most marvelous opportunity to walk through the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises with a group of dedicated women – mostly younger than me! – along with two Spiritual Directors. The purpose of the Exercises is to find the will of God for our one wild life and to receive insight and encouragement in following our personal call. We began with these assumptions:

Ignatius tells us that:
1. God can work on us when we are vulnerable
2. We need to pay attention to the thoughts and feelings and emotions that are a part of us/our days/ our journey.

We need to practice:
1. Being quiet
2. Think about what gives us life, joy and peace
3. Let go of the past as best we can

How do we do this? In our devotional life we begin with a simple prayer:
“I pray for the grace of an open and generous heart before God.”
We invest ourselves in the scripture. One of the gifts of Ignatian spirituality is that we use our imagination while we are reading scripture. We approach it with all of our senses. We place ourselves in the scripture – with the characters bringing insight into our life. (I know if you are United Methodist you might think this came from Disciple Bible Study – but really, Ignatius came up with this first somewhere between 1523 and 1541!)

So today, why not try a bit scripture Ignatian style?

Pray: “I pray for the grace of an open and generous heart before God.”
Read Prayerfully: Matthew 8:23-27 (I wish I cold hear Colleen sing, “Peace, Be Still”)
Read: Read the scripture again, imagining yourself to be in the scripture. Are you one of the disciples? Which one? Where are you sleeping? What are you wearing? What do you smell? What do you feel? What happens when the storm kicks it up a notch? What do you imagine yourself saying? Thinking?
Do you hear the invitation of Jesus to have faith in Him. To trust. Not to doubt?

Now imagine you are alone with Jesus. Speak to him of the things you have witnessed and felt. Ask Jesus to calm the storms in your life. Speak to him from your heart.

After the prayer, journal these thoughts:
What word in the scripture most spoke to you?
What did you sense the Lord saying to you?

Perhaps re-read the scripture aloud. This scripture is now part of you!

Thank the Lord for this time of prayer and presence.


Remember to pray the Examen this evening.

Toolkit #5 Tears

Well, it’s Friday finally! Thank you so much for traveling with me. It means more than you know. We had a day at work today! Felt like someone was working overtime to twist everyone counterclockwise. Ever had a day like that? I used to cry over days like that – now I cry over much more … children who should have families that love and care for them – but don’t; injustice and suspicion about someone because of the way they look, or act, or talk; families who want babies and can’t have them and teens who are pregnant and are unsure. Oh, I also cry at Publix commercials and Hallmark movies.

But Ignatius, one of my favorite “guys” said that tears were to be considered a great gift from God. In my journal, I copied these words: “I read somewhere that he mentions tears 175 times in the first part of his spiritual biography and in every single entry in the second half. Great torrents of tears. He said those tears brought him humility, intimacy with God, greater devotion, peace and strength. Ignatius considered tears to be a mystical grace.” How cool is that?

So let me ask you…when was the last time you cried? When was the last time you were with someone who cried? When was the last time you were moved to tears? When did you want to cry but fought to keep the tears away? Why do we always dab our eyes with our fingers – are fingers absorbent? (ok – I really just wonder about that!)

Let me challenge you: go ahead and cry! Remember Jesus when he was with Mary and Martha? Lazarus was in the tomb – dead – and “Jesus wept”. I have often wondered why he wept…because no one really understood who he was? Because he would have to bring Lazarus back to this earthly world? Because he loved Mary and Martha and Lazarus? The important thing for me is that he showed his humanity: Jesus wept.

Two other thoughts to sit with:
"Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again." ~ Alex Tan

"Anything can be cured with Saltwater - Tears, Sweat, or the Sea." Isak Dinesen (who wrote Out of Africa)

Now, just one more “word”…are you still practicing the habit of the examen? If so, here are 2 other ways of praying the examen. You might be interested to try:

When did I have the greatest sense of belonging to myself, other, God and the universe?
When did I have the least sense of belonging?

When did I give and receive the most love today?
When did I give and receive the least love today?

Toolkit #4 Benedictine Spirituality

OK, the truth is I am an extraverted contemplative. I am not even sure those two words can officially be used together. And the older I become, I find I am becoming “more so”. The thought of living at a monastery or retreat center is very appealing. Not wearing wool habits or copiously copying manuscripts or being totally alone. But I desire space, and long spells of quiet. In fact, I work at a place on 100 acres with a lake, and houses, a picturesque 100 year old chapel, and ancient trees that can almost tell stories. I have a wonderful Healing HeArts Studio to lose myself in. But I also work with lots of other folks who work – with their doors shut! I am forever peeking out in the hall for someone to talk to. There you have it – an extraverted contemplative.

What I have determined is that though I once desired the lifestyle of a monk, I really don’t want to escape my life. I want, to live my wild and precious life as Mary Oliver expresses in her poem The Summer’s Day.

I don’t want to endure my life. I don’t want put off my life. I want to embrace my life as a great mystery that is being unfolded. I work at it, really I do. I spend time in prayer. I work with a most wonderful spiritual director who excels at stretching me. But there are other things I want to do: I want to put a warp on the loom and create cloth. I want to spend time with my grandgirls and see the world and therefore God in and through their eyes. I want to make collages. I want to spend much time alone and in prayer in my womb of a study. I want… But my world is fast, full of lots of details that consume me. So often when I finally get into bed, I wonder where my day has gone. When did I let go of the ribbon of hope that the day promised?

Joan Chittister is contemporary Benedictine and perhaps the leading authority on Benedictine spirituality. This is what she says about prayer:

“Prayer is a long slow process….little by little, one gospel, one word, one moment of silence at a time, we come to know ourselves and the barriers we put between ourselves and the God who is trying to consume us.
The contemplative does not pray in order to coax satisfaction our of the universe. God is life, not a vending machine full of trifles to fit the whims of the human race. God is the end of life, the fulfillment of life, the essence of life, the coming of life. The contemplative prays in order to be open to what is, rather than to reshape the world to their own lesser designs.
…The contemplative prays in order, eventually to fall into the presence of God, to learn to live in the presence of God, to absorb the presence of God within…the contemplative is the seeker who can go down into the self, down the tunnel of emptiness, and finding nothing but God in the center of life, call that Everything. Most of all, the contemplative is the one who, looking at the world, sees nothing but the presence and activity of God everywhere, in everyone.”

Today, practice Benedictine Spirituality by being still, in the presence of God so that you might absorb the presence of God within.


Resources:
Chittister, Joan; Illuminated Life, Monastic Wisdom for Seekers of Light, Orbis Books, Maryknoll, New York, 2000.



The Summer Day
-Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
The one who has flung herself out of the grass,
The one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
Who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
Who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
Into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
How to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
Which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?

Toolkit: Prayer and Discipline

Tool #3 Prayer and Discipline!

I like to write. And yet, I have a difficult time “finding time” (I wonder, does anyone ever find time?) to write. I talk about writing. I get ready to write. But rarely, do I just write. So my friend Carol recommended The Creative Habit as a book that I might enjoy. She thought the book might illuminate some issues for me. Following are some of phrases from the first chapters.

Being a creative is a full-time job with its own daily patterns. Over time, as the daily routines become second nature, discipline morphs into habit. The routine is as much a part of the creative process as the lightning bolt of inspiration, maybe more. And this routine is available to everyone.

Creativity is not just for artists. There are no “natural” geniuses. (Beethoven still played the scales!) In order to be creative you have to know how to prepare to be creative. You have to have discipline – exercises. The exercises will help you develop skill. A lot of habitually creative people have preparation rituals linked to the setting in which they choose to start their day. By putting themselves into that environment, they begin their creative day.

These words have not always been my friends…discipline, routine, ritual. But I am making peace with them. I am finding the routines of my prayer life bring more than prayer to my life. And there is my life: busy and too full. With superb gentleness my spiritual director reminded me of the order of life that Benedict recommends:

8-9 hours of sleep (I know, right?)
4 hours of prayer
3-4 hours of resting and eating
4-6 hours of mental or manual labor
3 hours for reading and reflection

How do I measure up? Not so badly on the days in which I feel strong. Everyday? Now that's a different story. How about you? Wasn't it Wesley that said, "I have so much to do that I can't get by on less than three hours of prayer." My perfect day? I love to walk first, light incense and pray next (with coffee!) and then leisurely get dressed for the day. Prayer at noonish - usually a site on my computer. Then reading in the evening - IF I'm not working late. That works fine except there is a commute to be traveled and ministering to be done! There are Bible studies to be taught and art classes to lead.

And then Benedict speaks from The Prologue to The Rule seemingly right to me:

However late, then, it may seem, let us rouse ourselves from lethargy. That is what scripture urges on us when it says: the time has come for us to rouse ourselves from sleep. Let us open our eyes to the light that can change us into the likeness of God. Let our ears be alert to the stirring call of his voice crying to us every day: today, if you should hear his voice, do not harden your hearts. And again: let anyone with ears to hear listen to what the Spirit said to the church. And this what the Spirit says: come my children, hear me, and I shall teach you…run while you have the light of life…

Benedict is reminding me/us of the gift of the day – this day, as the day to discipline ourselves for prayer. To make a routine, to create muscle memory, to make rituals that lead us to a deeper experience of prayer. To let our minds be soaked with scripture so that we can pray. I wonder if that is why he used The Hours (The Divine Office, The Liturgy of the Hours) as the principle work of his monks? The muscle memory became so deeply imbedded in the tissue of their bodies, that they could often pray without thinking first, “Wait, it’s time to pray.” Rather the tolling of the bell signaled the beginning of the movement toward prayer. (I see that same muscle memory at work in the community of older teens where I lead worship. As we gather, there is loud, teenaged visiting, but then when the hour is chimed and the light is brought in, even a roomful of teens is quieted and ready for the movement of prayer.)

Many Benedictine communities still pray The Office for the entire seven or eight hours, but some are moving toward a modified prayer format of Morning Praise, Noon Prayer and Vespers and/or Compline. A Google search will lead you to many on line resources if you want to experiment. One of my favorite sites is www.sacredspace.ie – this is Jesuit site (Ignatius not Benedict) but there are lovely prayers that are available in several formats to fit your needs/desires that could be used throughout the day.

Question to think about: Are you liking the rhythm of your life?

Here is a prayer for noon/midday. As you pray, notice the words that "speak" to you. You may want to journal about those words or phrases.
Prayer for Noon:

O God, we pray for this day:
For all who have a song they cannot sing;
For all you have burdens they cannot bear;
For all who live in chains they cannot break
For all who wander homeless and cannot return;
For those who are sick and for those who tend them;
For those who wait for loved ones and wait in vain

For those who live in hunger
And for those who will not share their bread;
For those who are misunderstood
And for those who misunderstand;
For those who are captive
And for those who are captors;
For those whose words of love are locked within their hearts
And for those who yearn to hear those words.
Have mercy on these, O God.
Have mercy on us all.

-- Ann Weems
Try to sit with the phrases that pull at your heart. Try reading the prayer aloud.

And tonight…don’t forget your Examen.
If you are wanting to try Holy Reading again, try it with Psalm 139:1=18.


Resources;
Tharp, Twyla; The Creative Habit, Learn it and Use it for Life; Simon and Schuster, New York, 2003.
Soul Weavings: A Gathering of Women’s Prayers; Augsburg Fortress, Minneapolis, MN, 1996.

Toolkit #2 Prayer

Read the following slowly and aloud if possible:

Joan Chittister writes in Praying with the Benedictines, “Prayer is what links the religious and the spiritual, the inner and the outer dimensions of life. Every spiritual tradition on earth forms a person in some kind of regular practice designed to focus the mind and the spirit. Regular prayer reminds us that life is punctuated by God, awash in God, encircled by God. To interrupt the day with prayer-with any centering activity that draws us beyond the present to the consciousness of eternal truth-is to remind ourselves of the timelessness of eternity. Prayer and regular spiritual practices serves as a link between this life and the next. They remind us of what we are doing and why we’re doing it and where our lives are going. They give us the strength of heart to sustain us on the way. When life goes dry, only the memory of God makes life bearable again. Then we remember that whatever is has purpose.”

From the Prologue to The Rule of St. Benedict, “This, then, is the beginning of my advice: make prayer the first step in anything worthwhile that you attempt. Persevere and do not weaken in that prayer. Pray with confidence, because God, in his love and forgiveness, has counted us as his own sons and daughters.”

Benedict gave us the practice of Lectio Divina, Holy Reading. Eugene Peterson has given us contemporary words of Read, Think, Pray and Live as the movements for Lectio. Each element has a purpose, but the elements weave and warp into each other. Lectio is a whole practice, just as a weaving made up of hundreds of individual threads is a whole.

Our 2nd tool is to practice lectio with a bit of scripture. Here are the movements:
Read: thoughtfully, leisurely faithfully, outloud, slowly.
Think: Peterson writes, “ each subtle, significant, powerful word of Scripture is meant for you. One word may speak today and another tomorrow…so listen. (Interestingly “listen” is the very first word that Benedict writes in his Rule!)
Pray: Rest in God. Sit, journal, pray aloud, pray silent, pray with the scripture, dance, listen.
Live: Unless we live in God’s word, we miss the whole point.

The scripture today is Psalm 100. I’d love to hear from you about the ways God is speaking through the scripture today.
Read
Think
Pray
Live



Remember to practice The Examen tonight. Ignatius would instruct his priests when they were overwhelmed with their responsibilities they could take a break from everything, except the examen!

Resources:
Peterson, Eugene; The Message Remix: Solo; Navpress, Colorado Springs, CO, 2007.
DeBona OSB, Guerric; Praying with the Benedictines, A Window on the Cloister; Paulist Press; New York, 2007.
The Benedictine Handbook, Liturgical Press, Collegeville, Minnesota, 2003.

Toolkit #1 Discover the Examen

Marcus Buckingham is a guru in the buisness world today. His work centers on finding your strengths. Fining the things that make you feel strong! All his works have been on the best seller list. I particulary like his DVD series, Trombone Player Wanted. I'm betting he has learned about the beauty of the examen somewhere along the path of his life.

The examen is one of the greatest gifts of the work of St. Ignatius. It was revealed to him during a period of convalescence - he noticed that somethings he read (or did) left him with fulfilling feelings and these feelings stayed with him a long time. He also noticed that other things he read (or did) gave him positive feelings for a while - but did not stay with him. Ignatius became aware of how good feelings changed his daily outlook. He also became aware of how negative thoughts and emotions affected him. He named these experiences and developed a practice of evaluating the activities within a day so that he could make conscious choices for positive living or living the life God most wanted for him.

He gave the deepest feelings and yearnings of God the term 'consolation' and for the negative feelings or non life giving feelings he used the term 'desolation'. In today's language we might use words like 'strong' or 'weak'. The examen is a process of becoming aware of the events in your daily life that enable you to live your best life. The examen can be done by yourself or with another. It can be done at the end of the day or in the midst of the night. It creates a space within your life that is aware of the people, relationships and activities that make you feel strong. The examen also allows you to be aware of the people, relationships and activities that get on your last nerve.

The examen is life strengthening because it allows the acknowldgment of pain as well as the reception of the love and life that are often taken forgranted in a busy, daily life.


Here's the process:
Light a candle. (I like to do this because it separates the space for me, I also really like candles because I am reminded of the presence of God)
Become aware of God's loving presence.
Spend a few minutes in quiet while reflecting on the following questions:

For what moment today am I most grateful?
For what moment today am I least grateful?

OR

When did I feel most alive today?
When did I most feel life draining out of me?

You can write your responses or not.

You can speak your responses aloud or not.
You can do this by yourself or with another.

To increase your toolbox, practice the examen, each evening during this first week.

If you want to read more about this try the book: Sleeping with Bread, Holding What Gives you Life; Paulist Press.

The beginning...a spiritual toolbox

I'm beginning this journey because I have a hunch that the practices I have learned are important for a life lived in faith. My intention is to live a simple life of faith, but it is complicated by work and other distractions so often that I sometimes feel like I am being nibbled to death by guppies. Not a feeling I like, desire or would recommend! The origins of the faithful life I mean to live come through this scripture: "This is what the Lord says: 'Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Jeremiah 6:16) As I have lived with this scripture for the past year or so, I am struck with these words: stand, ask, walk, find - all action words. In essence, we are told to do something in order to find rest. In the doing, we will find the rest we seek. I hold that scripture in tension with Matthew 11:28,29: "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Again, in the doing, we will find rest. So what exactly are we called to do?

The good news? There is an overwhelming amount of rest that is available to us. I have traveled through many of life's challenges as I am sure you have. In fact, I have just come through (or am still coming through) one of life's hard times, a life defining time. And yet, I have still managed to work, to do school work, and to maintain many of my relationships and even some of my hobbies. One of the reasons I have been able to come through this time centers around the fact that I have leavned to weave certain monastic practices into my life. This is all pretty funny since I am not of the monastic tradition, and I am certainly not a saint! Two saints who have been instrumental in shaping this protion of my life are Benedict and Ignatius - more about them later. Suffice it to say, these spiritual practices have made a change in the nuts and bolts of my everyday life.

I'd like to invite you to travel this journey with me for the next month as I gather data for my DMin (Doctor of Ministry) project. If you are willing, I ask you to reflect on the following questions as we begin and then again at the end of the month. Psychologists tell us it takes 21 days to develop a habit. My prayer is that the next month will afford you the time to build some new routines and rituals into the rhythm of your life. You may post your answers on this blog, or you may send me an email (ellenshep@gmail.com). Thank you for being part of the Journey with me.

1. Do you have any regular spiritual practices? If so, please share them.
2. Would you be willing to spend time each morning and evening focused on developing a spiritual toolbox? How much time?
3. Do you desire a deeper prayer life?
4. What do you want your daily life in God to be shaped like? In other words, what do you want your life in God to look like/feel like?
5. What prevents your living your life like you want or you intend?
6. Is there anything else that would be helpful for me to know?